Activity Low, Emotions High

This week has been low key as far as excitement.  I don't have any exciting adventures to tell you about.  It was an emotional week though.  I wrote quite the lengthy post about some events that happened at my previous hospital this week.  After reading it over I decided that it wasn't quite blog appropriate.  It's something that really upset me and tipped me over the edge with sadness and anger.  All I'll say about it for those that read this that are involved is you guys are some of the best nurses I've ever worked with and I am so very very thankful to have had the chance to learn from you all and share in the miracle of life that we are so lucky to make a career out of with you guys.  You are AMAZING nurses and are irreplaceable... regardless of what anyone else thinks or how anyone else may make you feel.  You are true professionals and always have your patients' best interest at heart.  Love you all and miss you terribly!!

Moving on...  This week, week 4 of my contract (week 3 on the unit) I started to feel comfortable..errr a lot less awkward.  I finally have all my passwords and access to things required to do my job... well except for a key to some cabinets, but it's a big improvement from having to have another nurse pull medications for me every time I need them.  Oh, I suppose I also don't have "privileges" to make/print out care plans on the computer... DARN!!  Anywho, I've been feeling a bit more comfortable with work.  I think I've decreased my daily question count from 1,743 to 679 or so.  I've been thinking about and hoping I was nice and helpful to the travelers I have worked with before.  It sure is A LOT to learn!  My biggest struggle with this hospital is losing my independence.  I've never had a crowd of professionals when pushing with a patient for hours.  I've never had to explain my strategies or consult so many people.  There are a lot of positives and a few negatives, but most of all a lot of adjusting.  It's funny, and for non-labor and delivery people it might seem really weird, but I was sort of giddy when I had to check my patient in the OR today because she complained that she needed to push and there was no doctor available.  It's the first time I've gotten to check my own patient since I started.  I was relieved to find that I still could do the assessment myself.  I'm not the biggest fan of always trusting someone else's exams.  Maybe I have trust issues?  Today was by far the busiest day I've worked.  Thankfully the labor bus pulled up after my c/s because it was my first one... there hasn't even been one performed during ANY of my shifts in the last three weeks.  Yeah, sip on that for a little bit my Clubbers! It was nice to have a nurse available to guide me through their process and charting. After that, things blew up and of course that's when I became a helpless nurse with half of my allotted 679 questions for the day.  I feel bad that I wasn't more help to the others.  I still have a pretty stellar NCB (natural childbirth) to epidural ratio going although I can't take any credit.  These women are amazing.  They are so strong.  I had a cute little lady that other day who was thinking she couldn't tolerate the pain any longer.  We checked her and she was 6-7cm.  Her response: "Oh, I don't think I need the epidural anymore.  I think I can do it."  She never looked back and had the most controlled delivery I've seen in a long time.  Love!!!

This week also brought another reminder of how much I want to be living closer to my family.  My brother had to put his dog to sleep today after she suddenly started having seizures and other neuro changes.  They suspected a brain tumor and Brian decided to put her to sleep to end her suffering.  My parents were able to be there for him, but it's just one of those things you want to be able to show your support in person.  It's not the same over text or phone.

Really, I wish I could split myself into 3 people and be everywhere at once.  Perhaps live a couple different lives??  I suppose this one will do.  It's a pretty damn good life.  I'm so thankful for all the opportunities/adventures I've had and the people I've had the pleasure of getting close to along the way.  I wouldn't change a thing this far... well nothing major anyway.  :)

I'm watching the Academy of Country Music Awards while I write this and they keep showing previews for The Lucky One starring Zac Efron.  Would you stop reading my blog if I told you that I seriously can't wait to see this movie?  Call me a cougar, but that Zachary David Alexander is "aging" quite well my friends, and I am not afraid to admit it.  Yep, he has two middle names.  I just consulted wikipedia.  He's only 3 years younger...